In an age when divorce is just as common as marriage, one Burnaby family held a rather unusual family reunion for the holidays.
The Lauwers come from a family of eight children, and they gathered Nov. 16 for a Christmas reunion with their spouses, all from first marriages.
“We’re all still alive, and (that’s) very unusual in times like these, all together with the original spouses,” said Fern Nikolai, nee Lauwers.
The Lauwers started from humble beginnings; on Burnaby’s Hardwick Street in a home with outdoor plumbing and canvas windows. Fern is the second-oldest of her siblings.
“Birth control wasn’t what it is now, and then they had six more after me,” she said.
Fern’s parents stuck together through hard times during the Depression, and Fern think that influenced her and her siblings to hold their marriages together, most for more than 50 years.
“We all had our challenges. Egon and I have a handicapped child, but our makeup was when the going gets tough, we’re in for the long haul,” she said. “You can throw in the towel so easy today.”
Fern’s husband is Egon Nikolai, a former city councillor and freeman of Burnaby.
According to Fern, you can walk away from a marriage, but your second partner will also have baggage, as will your third.
“It’s just as easy to forgive your spouse. Your shortcomings - you both have them,” she said.
Fern said everyone has periods where they don’t want to compromise, but she just steps back, and her faith helps her a lot.
Fern’s sister Nina Adams, who now lives in New Westminster, said her parents influenced her attitude on marriage and sticking together.
“They certainly had their issues. There were times we thought they should split, but really, the fun and the love that was in that family - that we see now,” Adams said. “We all go through tough times, but if you have your faith to lean on you sort of lean on (God) to take care of your troubles.”
Adams met her husband when they were both students at Burnaby North Secondary; he was the best-dressed kid in school, and he looked like Elvis Presley.
“We ended up in a perfect compatible relationship, which we did not start with,” she said. “Not everything has been wonderful, but I always found with each hurdle, we got stronger.”
Adams has been married for 55 years. Her youngest sibling, Dixie, has been married for 41 years, while her oldest, Keith, 57 years.
On Nov. 16, the Lauwers siblings and their husbands and wives all gathered at Fern and Nick’s home around a big dining room table, and took their time going over their family memories.
“That was incredible, really. We’ve never sat so long at one table; all 16 of us said something,” Adams said.
