Members of the St. Thomas More Knights varsity football players stared sombrely at the ground as they sat on the sideline stands. They had suffered the toughest loss they’ve ever had in their short careers on the gridiron. But this one wasn’t on the field. They had lost their leader, their mentor, their counsellor, their dear friend. They gathered at centre field, knelt and said a prayer for him, and then went to work preparing for their next opponent burdened by the weight of heavy hearts.
Long-time STM head football coach Bernie Kully died late Saturday evening after succumbing to esophageal cancer. Kully graduated from St. Thomas More in 1994 and had been a teacher, counsellor and coach at the school since 2000. He was 41.
His passing came a night after he’d watched on his computer as the team that was embedded in his heart rolled past the Centennial Centaurs 57-0 in Coquitlam. It was STM’s fourth win of the season, an accomplishment they’ve done without surrendering a single point.
After the game, Kully sent a text to interim head coach Steve De Lazzari saying, “Congrats on the win!” The team’s quality control coach John Freire got one saying, “That was a bit of an (butt)-kicking.” Freire didn’t need an emoji to know Kully had his trademark smirk on his face when he hit send.
“It’s almost providence in a way that we were able to do that,” said De Lazzari of the decisive victory.
“I thought it was in a way the perfect way for having him watch his last game the way our boys played.
It was last December at the team’s annual wrap-up dinner when the first inkling of trouble surfaced.
“He came to the banquet and taps me on the shoulder and says, ‘You’re going to have to do all the talking tonight. I’ve lost my voice, I can’t talk, I can’t speak.’ He had a really hoarse voice,” recalled De Lazzari less than 15 hours after losing his coaching and counselling colleague. “I told him, ‘You should see an ear, nose and throat specialist and figure out what’s going on there.’ A couple of weeks later he said, ‘I’ve got esophageal cancer and it’s Stage 4.’ ”
“It was a shock, it was entirely unexpected. In the back of my mind, he’s going to fight this, just knowing him, and his zeal for life that he was going to do everything in his power to fight it and try to beat it,” said De Lazzari. “I was calling myself interim head coach in the hope he would be back, but life has dealt a difficult blow.”
As De Lazzari solemnly talked in his office, there was a shoebox behind him labelled KULLY. De Lazzari choked up as he revealed it contained running shoes he was supposed to deliver to Kully this week.
On his desk sat the game plan for the Knights’ next encounter against the top-ranked team in the province, Port Coquitlam’s Terry Fox Ravens (Friday, 7 p.m., Percy Perry Stadium in Coquitlam). Many of the team’s defensive schemes are built around suggestions Kully sent to De Lazzari last week. At the bottom of the cover was “TOGETHER…..FAMILY” followed by a heart with the initials BK in it.
“We rally around (Kully’s death), and finish the rest of the season for him, play for him. That’s the best way to honour him,” said De Lazzari.
It will be difficult for De Lazzari to fill Kully’s shoes. But he intends to do everything he can to emulate Kully.
“He was a consummate professional in terms of what he did and how he did it. His attention to detail and the way he would prepare our defence week-in, week-out for the opposition was even beyond what I saw at university when I played there,” said De Lazzari, who admitted there’s been a few times he looked for Kully during games even though he’s not there.
“I’m not used to doing his role. I’m not only the interim head coach, but also the defensive coordinator. I’ve got the defence looking at me, and I’m not sending the signal because that was Bernie’s job - what stunt, or what blitz, Bernie wanted them to run. At times, my hands, they’re just not moving because it should be his hands.
“He was a player’s coach. He always had the player’s best interest in mind, and he always had the players’ respect in that regard.”
Freire is one of those pitching in to help De Lazzari fill Kully’s big shoes.
“He dedicated so much time to this football program and it’s not just one person who will be able to pick up the slack for him,” said Freire. “He did so much for the program, for the kids getting them recruited (by universities), getting their highlights out (to university coaches), talking to schools, making sure the grades are straight. Those are impossible shoes to fill.”
Former STM principal Darrell Hall, who still teaches at the school, was not only his first boss at STM, he was Kully’s first coach when little Bernie showed up to play for the Grade 8 team Hall was in charge of.
“He was just one of those kids you could always count on. ‘Yes sir. Can I shine your shoes, sir?’ ” recalled Hall. “He was one of those really coachable kids, which is really sort of nice he became a coach.”
Hall said in Grade 8 football there’s not many kids willing to play centre on the offensive line. Hall told Kully he’d make a good one. Kid Kully replied, “Whatever you want me to do coach.” So Kully added those duties to those he already had on the defensive side of the ball at middle linebacker.
“That’s the type of kid you want,” said Hall.
After he finished his football at STM, Kully headed up to Burnaby Mountain to play for Simon Fraser University. Even though he was an offensive lineman for the Clan, he loved defence the most.
“He was a very good strategist. He really knew his Xs and Os when it comes to defence, there’s no doubt about it,” said Hall.
When he arrived back at his alma mater in 2000, Kully coached, taught and counselled. He served all of them well, said Hall.
“That’s one thing about Bernie, whatever task you give him you get 100 per cent all of the time, and he’s no dummy. He picks up quick, he does the job well, and you can always count on him. I said this to him, ‘You’re the type of guy you want to go to war with because you know you’re going to get 100 per cent and you’ve got our backs. You’re going to be totally loyal, and you’ve got our backs no matter what,’ ” said Hall.
“He’s loyal to a fault. You don’t get better greater loyalty or integrity, love of school and love of his sport.”
Despite all the years teaching and coaching beside Kully, Hall can’t shake the image of the kid.
“I can still picture him in his Grade 8 uniform, on the field and playing for us. Just this young enthusiastic, young kid. And to see him grow up and become a man, and a teacher, and a coach and all those things and a colleague, you see all of that and then unfortunately you lose him far too quickly, far too early. It’s just really sad,” said Hall. “I’ve always looked at it this way, it’s better to have known him for the years that we did then to not known him at all. That’s what you hold onto.”
Monday at STM began with an early staff meeting where they held a prayer for Kully.
“It was very emotional, but beautiful all at the same time,” said Hall, who admitted more than a few tears were shed. “We had all kinds of boxes of kleenex out there. People shared stuff together. A lot of hugs.”
Darren McCormick was a close friend and colleague of Kully’s. On Monday afternoon, McCormick’s face betrayed the emotional strain he’d been through all day as he read the memorial tributes by students and staff posted in the school lobby.
“I couldn’t teach. My mind was not on Social Studies 10 or Social Studies 11. We talked about Mr. Kully,” said McCormick.
One student took over a class because the teacher was struggling. Some students brought their teachers coffee in support. Alumni sent pizza to the staff for lunch. Others also brought food for them.
Vice-principal and senior boys basketball coach Aaron Mitchell was one of the friends who chauffeured Kully to his medical treatments. The talk in the car was about the NBA, NFL, Twitter, shop talk or Mitchell’s personal life.
“It was never about him feeling sorry for himself. He would say ‘this sucks’ or ‘this treatment is knocking me on my butt a bit,’ but it was never negative and it was never about him,” said Mitchell.
Last year, Mitchell and his wife adopted a baby boy which meant Mitchell couldn’t take his basketball team on its planned trip to Hawaii. He asked Kully to be the school’s chaperone while community members coached the team. But Kully’s response was tentative because he hadn’t had his voice for a couple of weeks and wasn’t sure what was going on.
“When I reflect back, I think maybe he knew something wasn’t right,” said Mitchell. “He always had issues with swallowing food. When we’d go out for dinner he’d always have to have a glass of water to help kind of get food down. To find out that news (cancer) was obviously a huge slap in the face.”
Hearing Stage 4 was scary, but in the back of Mitchell’s mind he thought Kully could beat it because he kept fit running on a treadmill and lifting weights.
“He took care of himself like nobody’s business,” said Mitchell. “I just thought if anyone was tough enough it would be him. So there was always in my mind that hope. At the end, his passing away, what it says, is the type of person he was because he didn’t want people to worry about him.”
Mitchell’s 40th birthday was last Friday, two others at the school had theirs the day before. Kully sent out a text to them saying he was sorry he forgot their birthdays,
“He was more concerned about missing someone else’s birthday than getting a new feeding tube being put in. He was worried about us,” said Mitchell.
But then on Sunday morning came the inevitable news.
“It was still shocking,” said Mitchell. “I just lost it. I didn’t want him to go.
“I’m trying to do what I can to support the kids, and at least put on a tough face (Monday) for them.”
The story Mitchell told all his classes Monday was about how he and his wife were challenged trying to have a family before they adopted. Came May, Kully texted Mitchell’s wife saying “Happy Mother’s Day. You deserve it. I hope you have the best day, I’m so happy for you.”
“He’s going to be missed severely,” lamented Mitchell.
Kully demanded a lot from his students, which Mitchell said is good for kids these days.
“There’s an expectation (from Kully) of being respectful, and training hard. When you put the pads and helmet on you’re not just representing yourself. You’re representing your school, you’re representing your community,” said Mitchell. “It’s bigger than you. He demanded a lot out of our kids and had high expectations for them. And I think that’s OK.
“The kids saw the time, the energy he put into the program and I think they appreciated that.”
Versatile star athlete Denny Dumas transferred to STM before his Grade 10 season and his first connection with the school was with Kully, who was head coach of the junior varsity at the time. Kully called him up during the summer excited about the JV team that year and Dumas joining the squad as its quarterback.
“He was as accommodating as I could have ever imagined. He went out of his way during the summer to meet me a couple of times and walked me through the hallways, run me through how STM works,” said Dumas. “You could tell how passionate he was about the school and the sport.
“Bernie was a pretty special guy. It’s hard to explain how important he was to the STM community.”
The JV team went undefeated en route to claiming a provincial championships.
“It was a memory I’ll never forget, and it had a huge part to do with him,” said Dumas. “There were a lot of talented players on that team, but his enthusiasm and passion just rubbed off on them. It had a lot to do with him rather than the guys involved.”
Kully tried to steer Dumas toward university football saying he could play at a U.S. school and even the Canadian Football League. Football coaches from across Canada called Dumas at Kully’s urging. But Dumas was hooked on hoop, so Kully put him in contact with basketball coaches too. Dumas eventually opted to go to the University of North Dakota on a basketball scholarship, although he returned a year later to play at UBC.
“He was a huge help,” said Dumas, now a real estate agent in New Westminster. “He was one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met.”
Kully earned bachelor degrees from SFU in history (1999) and education (2000), and a masters in education from City University of Seattle in 2009.
He is survived by his wife Cara, his mother Anne and his brother Mike, who graduated from STM in 1992. His father passed away when he was in Grade 9, according to Mitchell.
Prayer service at All Saints Parish in Coquitlam (821 Fairfax St., just north of Como Lake Road between Gatensbury and Schoolhouse streets) on Wednesday at 7 p.m., A funeral mass will be held at All Saints on Thursday at 11 a.m.
