Three years ago Doug Alderson lost his wife Sharon to rectal cancer. Today, the 74-year-old honours Sharon’s life by participating in the Ride to Conquer Cancer, an annual fundraiser in support of the B.C. Cancer Foundation.
Alderson says it’s his deep love for Sharon and her lasting strength that keeps him going throughout the grueling 200-kilometre ride from Vancouver to Seattle.
The NOW recently caught up with Alderson through email, between training for the race and spending time with grandchildren.
Tell me about your wife, Sharon, how did you meet?
I met my wife Sharon, affectionately nicknamed “Cookie,” when she was 14. This is a true love story. We were the typical childhood sweethearts who met at a house party in 1958 and fell in love. Neither of us had, had previous girl/boyfriends. We just felt right and hung out for seven years because her father did not want her to marry before she was 21. That was my last year of college. She came to St. Louis for my senior year and became the sweetheart of the campus. She had fiery red hair, a twinkle in her eyes and was full of fun. She was awarded a PhT diploma (putting-hubby-through).
We returned and settled in North Vancouver. She gave me four beautiful children. They adored her. Sharon was an exemplary mother, daughter, sister, grandmother and, especially, a wife. Sharon put everyone else's needs before her own and was the glue of our family. She made friends very easily due to her magnetic, generous and loving nature.
When did you find out she had cancer?
Sharon was one of those girls who never had a sick day in her life. In 2008, we returned from a vacation and she had a continual bowel irritation that she could not get rid of. It was thought to be chronic food poisoning. After exhaustive examinations it was determined, in 2009, to be possible rectal cancer. It was formally diagnosed in October of 2009.
What treatment did she receive?
She had to be admitted for surgery on Nov. 17, 2009. She seemed comfortable, yet sedated after five-and-a-half hours of surgery. On Nov. 18, 2009 at 7:15 in the morning, her surgeon called me to say that Sharon had experienced a stroke. It was massive, blocking the left side of her brain. She could not move her limbs, she could not speak, she could not swallow and she had memory loss. Sharon was not expected to survive the stroke, but the doctors did not know the will of this mother/grandmother. Further insult was the cancer was in her lymphnodes.
What happened after the surgery?
I retired from my chiropractic practice to care for her. The attending physician knew me and gave me full reign of the equipment to care for her and I was taught to change her colostomy (bag), (and) bath and dress her. She slowly overcame a lot of the effects of the stroke. I worked with the therapists and, although she did not regain full speech, we communicated in our own way. After nine consecutive months in the hospital I brought Sharon home. She was wheelchair bound, but happy to leave the hospital. When Sharon experienced her stroke it was apparent that our home was not wheelchair friendly so I sold (it) and down sized to a suitable condo with wheelchair access. She enjoyed life, her children and the beauty of nature. We hiked, she in the wheelchair, and there was endless appreciation of flowers and gardens that we would pass by. Our roles reversed. I became a decent cook and we ate as often as possible on the patio.
What happened next?
Toward the end of 2010 the cancer was spreading and Sharon was in serious distress. I was administering injections and they were not providing much comfort. The nights were long and often sleepless, or we would both cry ourselves to sleep. Colon cancer is a gut-wrenching disease. She hated the hospital bed, so I had it replaced and I could lie beside her at night and try and console her. There were a couple of occasions I had to call for help and get her in the hospital to try and stabilize her medications. Sharon hung on for Christmas 2010. Christmas was her favourite time. It was difficult for her to put on a good face for the grandchildren and she was exhausted once Christmas passed. She really never bounced back, and on Jan. 3, 2011, I had to get the ambulance to admit her to the hospital. There was no hesitation – they admitted her to the hospice.
I stayed with her there around the clock.
She was unable to eat and at 11:15 pm on Jan. 11, 2011 Sharon died and a big chunk of me died with her. I was happy for her, so she did not have to suffer any more, but I was torn up and angry that she was taken from us. It was never tough to stay strong in this battle because I knew Sharon would have been there for me. If it (were) possible, I would have changed places with her in a heartbeat.
How did you hear about the Ride to Conquer Cancer?
I had heard about the ride to conquer cancer on the radio, and during a trip to my barber there were applications to join the ride in her shop. I knew that wasn’t a coincidence. It made sense and it was an opportunity for me to honour Sharon by doing the ride so I joined.
Tell me about your first ride.
On June 18, 2011, I did my first ride to conquer cancer. It was difficult and the weather was horrid – windy and wet both days. Riders were being wrapped in space blankets during lunch to prevent hypothermia. My butt was so sore I could not sit on the saddle for the last 10 km. When I crossed the finish line, I was so emotional I had a bit of a breakdown, but I felt proud to finish for Sharon. She deserved the recognition.
Why is the Ride to Conquer Cancer so important to you?
For me, this is a way to help others not to have to go through the suffering Sharon did. Now when I ride, I know Sharon is guiding me. She would be proud of the honour and that all her suffering has gone for a possible cure.
I want to ride to never forget Sharon and her dedication and love to my family and me. I am motivated to give something back to my community through the awareness of the effects of this hideous disease. I am motivated because the event brings me close to Sharon as I am riding and I am motivated to the principle of raising donations for research and teaching so those that are affected by cancer have improved care givers, research, state of the art equipment, treatment and outcomes.
It is an important cause because there are very few families that have not been touched in some way by cancer. This is their opportunity to get behind the riders of their choice to make a difference for everyone. All donations go a long way to provide better care and treatment for cancer patients and eventually the elimination of many forms of cancer.
Alderson has to raise $2,500 to participate in the ride, which is June 14 and 15 this year. He’s already started fundraiser for this year’s event, but says it’s quite difficult for a man his age.
“Many of my colleagues, friends and family have passed on, (and) I am not cute enough to go door to door, and my baking (for a bake sale) sucks,” he added.
To donate to Alderson, got to http://tinyurl.com/DougAlderson and click on the “Donate Online Now” button. For more information on Vancouver’s Ride to Conquer Cancer 2014, visit www.conquercancer.ca and click on the link for B.C.
