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Burnaby-based adoption association says teens need 'forever homes'

The changing face of adoption in B.C. means that no longer is it about an affluent young married couple picking the perfect blond, blue-eyed baby. Of the 1,400 children now waiting for adoption in B.C.

The changing face of adoption in B.C. means that no longer is it about an affluent young married couple picking the perfect blond, blue-eyed baby.

Of the 1,400 children now waiting for adoption in B.C., close to a third are over the age of 12 and urgently need the structure, love and permanence of a forever family home.

Yet less than 10 per cent of annual adoptions are of children over 12, a heartbreaking fact that B.C.'s adoption community is working hard to change.

"People need to open their hearts and minds to the 1,400 children who are available for adoption - this is a number that a society like ours should be able to change," says MyraJean Marshall.

Marshall, who works with the Adoptive Families Association of B.C. (AFABC) and is a new adoptive mother of two young siblings, says that prospective adoptive parents need to know that the child they seek to adopt will not be a "perfect" baby.

"It's a challenge - an overwhelming number of people are willing to adopt perfect babies - but we know that it is the kids over 12, the sibling groups and children facing many issues, who need loving forever homes."

AFABC executive director Karen Madeiros says that children seeking adoption are virtually certain to have issues related to the reason they were taken from their parents, such as addiction, neglect, abuse and family breakdown.

Kids in late childhood or even late teens, who may have grown up in care, more than ever require structure and loving guidance in a permanent home, notes Madeiros.

"The B.C. government's independent-living program for teens is a dismal failure," says Madeiros, who otherwise awards high praise to government social workers who carefully train and match new parents to needy adoptees.

"Among the youths on the street in Vancouver, about 60 per cent have been in [government] care. They need loving, adoptive homes more than ever."

Right now, there are 387 children over 12 who need adoption in B.C., compared with only 89 children under age two, according to government statistics.

Yet last year, there were 91 adoptions of infants and toddlers under two, yet only 23 adoptions of kids over 12. Only 70 children aged five to 12 were adopted, although there were 558 waiting for parents to love them.

"Youth over the age of 12 account for less than 10 per cent of yearly adoptions - and not only is that unacceptable, it is heartbreaking," admits B.C. Minister of Children and Family Development Mary McNeil.

McNeil notes that "when people think of adoption they often think about bringing home a baby or toddler," despite the hundreds of older kids needing homes.

"It can take more time to find the right match between a prospective family and an older child, but it is worth the extra effort," says McNeil.

"Adoption is about families. It is about love. It is about deep, lifelong commitment. It's also about overcoming challenges, together."

To spotlight the new issues with Adoption Awareness Month coming up in November, the ministry and AFABC are running an art contest for youth aged 12 to 24 who want to share their fostering or adoption stories through art.

Painting, photography or sketches submitted will be judged by a professional art panel and be featured in travelling galleries throughout B.C.

Submissions must be received by Oct. 7 and winners, to be announced by Oct. 21, are eligible for thousands of dollars worth of prizes and art supplies.

(To submit art or to get more information visit www.bcadopt.com.)

Chris Tait, who at 19 has been in foster care since he was three and survived two failed adoptions, is doing a painting about his experience.

"It definitely wasn't great, foster homes are not really about love - that's what kids need and it doesn't magically change because you're 19," says Tait, who has five siblings, three of them successfully adopted.

"The ministry wants you to be semi-independent when you're 18, so somebody is paid to hand you money, but the minute you're 19 they cut you right off.

"Most of my friends still live with their parents - with this economy it's hard to get a job and go to school and you need a home more than ever."

Adoption activists say it's hard to imagine the pierced or tattooed teen panhandling on the street as a candidate for adoption. Yet Vancouver has more than 1,500 homeless youth, 85 per cent of whom have fled sexual or physical abuse, addiction or neglect in their own family of origin.

This is the time in their lives when they most desperately need a home.

"It can be a tremendously rewarding experience to parent an older child - we have kids who were adopted at 16 who are now in their final years of university," notes Madeiros.

"All they needed was a home that as forever."

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