It's been a few weeks since 2012 arrived - 11 weeks to be precise. Since New Year's, the Burnaby NOW has talked to experts around the community to get tips, tricks and inspiration to help readers stay on track with resolutions, be they to lose weight, spend more time with the family or get the house organized.
For our final installment in our This Year, I Will series, NOW reporter Christina Myers talks to a familiar face in the city of Burnaby - a longtime community and family advocate - about the final resolution in our lineup: getting involved in your community. With spring about to arrive, what better time to get out in the neighbourhood and find a new way to make connections, volunteer and get involved.
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We talked to: Jeanne Fike, executive director of Burnaby Family Life Institute
Question: Can you tell us a bit about your history and current role with BFLI? How did you first get involved with this organization?
Answer: I was working part time, teaching at Capilano University, pregnant and parenting a two-year old when my neighbour asked me if I wanted to take a parenting group with her at Burnaby Family Life.
I said "What's a parenting group?" After one program I was hooked. It was 1979 and I loved meeting other parents and learning all I could about child growth and development, family dynamics and relationship skills.
I signed up for every course and workshop I could find and then trained in family therapy with world renowned Virginia Satir. I took a leadership training program sponsored by the Burnaby School District, Burnaby Family Life and Douglas College and soon after began developing and facilitating programs myself.
What I enjoyed most was interacting with other families, sharing our stories, our successes and challenges, and making new friends. Every program provided an "extended family" where we discussed our concerns as parents and found mutual support. I kept learning new skills and strategies that helped me cope with many of life's challenges.
Our young sons thrived in the childcare, playing with other children and often we arranged play dates with other families we met in the programs. My husband participated in a mens' group almost 20 years ago and they are still meeting to this day!
I learned there is no such thing as a perfect family and that every family experiences crisis and needs support. Getting involved in program planning, fundraising and organizational development helped me grow personally and professionally.
My husband and I both carried a lot of unresolved "baggage" into our relationship and the help we received nurtured us as a couple and helped us cope with the challenges we were faced with, individually and as parents. I was so grateful to receive all the support that it was just natural to want to get involved.
Everything was done by volunteers - I found myself in wonderful company with other parents who had a strong sense of community and wanted to keep the organization going. Burnaby Family Life programs were made possible with joint sponsorship by the Burnaby School District, the City of Burnaby and the health department. The programs were flourishing and the demand from the community far exceeded the capacity of the organization to respond.
In my current role I am privileged and humbled to work with the most diverse team of professionals, para professionals and volunteers - about 100 of us are involved in service delivery at 10 different locations in Burnaby. I am fiercely proud of our diverse employees who collectively speak 47 different languages. Last year we served families representing 109 different first languages in programs for the homeless, for pregnant and parenting teenagers, battered women, abused children, immigrants, refugees and ordinary people from every walk of life and level of income.
Q: How much of an impact on your life has it made to be "involved" with your community?
A: Every day at work is different - I never know what to expect. It's exciting, dynamic, challenging and rewarding work. The work has taught me humility and to have faith in a higher power, to be grateful for "winning the birth lottery," for living in this wonderful part of the world and having so many incredible opportunities. For me there is no greater joy than feeling like I've somehow made a difference; I always feel a sense of gratitude for being part of something "bigger than myself." It's been a profound opportunity to witness people overcoming adversity and working with such a dedicated, compassionate and hard working group of people. My life has been enriched by amazing examples of courage and resilience. I'm often moved to tears - tears of joy as well as tears of grief.
We are a cohesive organization; with so many employees coming from different countries, we have a culture at Burnaby Family Life that is more like an extended family. I am enriched by the diversity of different cultures, different languages and ways of doing things. I am constantly challenged by new ideas and creative solutions to the challenges we face because we face them collectively. I am privileged to see "miracles" almost every day and to laugh and cry with those I work.
I feel very fortunate to have opportunities to engage in meaningful discussions with public leaders, business leaders and government ministriy officials and the older I get the more comfortable I feel in an advocacy role.
I truly believe if the average person really had the opportunity to understand what dire circumstances some people are living in and to meet children who are born into poverty through no fault of their own - and lack of opportunities that the mainstream takes for granted - that they would want to do more to help.
Our society traps people in poverty; with the cost of childcare, lack of affordable housing and escalating cost of living for those living on a fixed income there is little opportunity to climb out of their circumstances. It's such a sad state of affairs - our systems simply don't work as effectively as they could.
Q: What kind of a benefit do you see among people who volunteer or get involved in local organizations, groups or events?
A: It never ceases to amaze me! Volunteers often do not want to be recognized for their efforts; they typically underestimate the value of their contribution. Volunteering has to be meaningful: if it's not a good fit for whatever reason, they move on. We see many volunteers learn new skills, become integrated into the community, gain confidence, contribute more fully to the community and develop a sense of belonging. It's wonderful to see volunteers discover strengths they never realized they had.
Q: People often feel that they don't have enough time to volunteer even though they want to help out. But it seems like most
organizations need all kinds of help, from big commitments to small ones, and a wide variety of skills are needed. What would you say to encourage someone to get involved regardless of how much time or experience they have?
A: It doesn't take much effort to make a difference; it's finding the right fit that can be challenging. Almost all my friends and family have become involved with Burnaby Family Life in some way: as donors, advocates, helping out at community events, becoming mentors, fundraising, offering their skills in delivering workshops, researching and/or writing proposals.
There's always "informal" ways to make a contribution. The Burnaby Volunteer Centre's mandate is to recruit and match volunteers up for specific jobs in a variety of community agencies; the South Burnaby Neighbourhood House relies on a host of volunteers for all they do in the community; Burnaby Community Connections is always look-ing for drivers to deliver meals to seniors and help out at the Christmas Bureau; MOSAIC trains mentors and matches them up with immigrants; Battered Women's Support Services does a rigorous screening and training program to develop volunteers to work with abused women.
There are endless opportunities.
Q: What about people who are newcomers and may be worried about language barriers? How can they participate in community organizations?
A: This can be very challenging for newcomers, and it takes courage to offer their skills and experience in a culture where they may feel very different and isolated. Burnaby schools, especially community schools, are often a good place to start.
Burnaby Family Life, South Burnaby Neighbourhood House and many other organizations welcome help from parents who can bring their own children to programs - they can improve their skills and integrate into the community while developing a sense of belonging and increasing their confidence.
Q: From your perspective, what's the relationship between the health of a community and the level of involvement from residents?
A: There is a cliché that says "there's nothing like a crisis to bring the commu-nity together" and we see countless examples of what communities can do for one another when there's a disaster or a lost child or some kind of emergency - just like it's "the thing to do" to volunteer at Christmas.
If only we had this kind of consciousness to help one another, without judging, every day of the year. What a world there would be!
Q: Would you encourage people to teach their kids about getting involved and helping out? Any tips on ways to introduce those ideas, or ways that kids can help their communities and get involved?
A: Great places to start is with recycling at home; donating toys and clothes, growing vegetables for the food bank or for programs like ours.
To see past articles in the This Year, I Will series, see www.burnabynow.com. Contact Christina Myers at [email protected] or www.twitter.com/ChristinaMyersA.
