Valerie Malla remembers her mom as having a real thirst for life.
She was a homemaker – the kind of person who loved to cook, do arts and crafts and constantly be in the company of family and friends.
“Our neighbours would come over and have tea all the time,” Malla said of Mindy, who passed away of a heart condition at the age of 32 when her daughter was just eight years old.
Growing up, Mindy’s passing was rarely discussed due to the hurt it caused. Mementos and keepsakes were stashed away, including a piece of art Mindy had made – a design of sequins on a piece of satin.
“I wanted to keep it safe. I didn’t want anything to happen to it because it was my one thing of her, it was like a piece of her,” recalled Malla.
For years, she couldn’t bear to celebrate Mother’s Day.
“I just felt really alone and isolated on that particular day, even more so than Christmas,” she told the NOW.
In 2013, something “just clicked” for the SFU student. She realized even though her mother was gone, she could still honour her memory.
“I thought, I do have a mother, everybody has a mother. She’s just not alive in the sense we on Earth determine people to be alive.”
That year, she organized a Mother’s Day brunch for anyone who had lost their maternal parent or had an estranged relationship with them.
And she’s doing it again – on May 8, Malla is hosting a brunch at Vancouver’s Seasons in the Park.
After connecting with B.C. Bereavement, the Lower Mainland Grief Recovery Society and local libraries, she said her phone has been ringing off the hook.
“I’m getting so many calls. I thought maybe six people, but I may have to do it in two events. They really think it’s a wonderful idea, which just tells me the need.”
Today, death is not a topic Malla shies away from. It’s something very natural that society needs to embrace, she said, and there’s a great need for community support.
Her brunch should be seen as one of those pillars of support, Malla added.
“It’s not so much about the mothers as it is about the person that is participating. We all have a mother, we all have a relationship, and when that gets severed, it creates a loss. We can’t just ignore that,” she explained.
Anyone interested in attending the brunch is asked to call 778-318-1894 to reserve a seat. Bookings will be taken up until May 6. Attendees are asked to bring a photo and/or story about their mom to share.
