If there was one relief that took place during my divorce it’s that my ex-wife is a phenomenal mother who was able to put aside her differences so we could be effective parents.
I felt the same way and so things worked out.
But I do realize that we might be in the minority. All it takes is one parent to want to get ugly and things blow up into something that is not good for the child.
Add COVID-19 into the mix and it’s a combustible situation. There’s been a lot of talk about how to co-parent during a pandemic and one Burnaby mom shared her story about trying to do this with an abuser who has weekly access to her two children.
“Co-parenting with my ex abuser during a global pandemic has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life thus far,” said Sally (not her real name).
Sally started things out during the pandemic by trying to set basic boundaries and share information so they were both on the same page.
“I was met with hostility and accusations of violating his ‘privacy’ and he would not tell me anything other than he's ‘being safe.’ So I have been flying blind with a physical connection to him though the weekly contact he has with my kids. Each week my kids come home, I hope that they won't be carrying COVID to our house.”
So Sally learned to accept she had no power over the situation and hoped for the best.
And then came the playdates, in which her children were exposed to other kids outside of their household bubble.
“When I confronted my ex with the reality that he had broken the current public health orders, he told me that he called the ‘COVID hotline,’” she said. “I don't know if he's just lying or if he was really told that it would be OK to have a social gathering with other people, but in the end he told me that he will do whatever he feels is right when he has the kids, which apparently is violating health orders.”
Sally has consulted a lawyer and was told that the ex could pretty much do what they want.
It’s a tough situation, but there are more to consider.
A different but still related issue is how co-parents handle the COVID vaccine.
Chantal Cattermole, a Vancouver senior family lawyer with Clark Wilson LLP was asked by one of our Glacier sister papers that while the COVID-19 vaccine is not yet approved for kids, if it is and you are separated parents who disagree on giving it to the child, what should parents consider?
“As long as they are joint guardians and share joint guardian responsibilities, it is something that could come into dispute in court. If you are a sole guardian, then you make that decision and the other parent would have no say. If you are joint guardians, but one of you has primary parenting responsibility under the Family Law Act (Sec. 41 f), then that parent could make the decision. In both of these situations, the parent who doesn't have the authority would be able to apply to the court. Then the court would have to intervene to make the decision Cattermole said.
Great, parents have that to possibly look forward to.
Follow Chris Campbell on Twitter @shinebox44.
