Tears streaked my cheeks as I sat hunched over in the front seat of my SUV, holding a funnel-shaped milk sucker to my chest and manually pumping while trying not to get seen by passersby.
An afternoon meeting on the other side of town meant that I had to leave my breastfed baby for more than four hours, and not pumping would have left me leaking through my shirt, or worse, developing mastitis as a result. It had to be done, but it hurt.
As a self-employed working mom, this scene happened often. Whether I was relieving myself after an extended period of time away from my baby, stocking up on supply for the sitter, or pump-and-dumping after a glass of wine, the pump was a necessary part of my everyday life for that first year.
Pumping isn’t pretty. It’s frustrating and often painful - there’s nothing attractive about it. So when a photographer recently shared a behind-the-scenes photo of Canadian actress Rachel McAdams, pumping and looking posh while posing for a pic, some moms were put off.
The photo, which was posted to photographer Claire Rothstein’s Instagram account during a recent fashion shoot with the star, shows a fierce-faced McAdams staring into the camera while pumping breastmilk for her baby. The caption reads:
“Obviously #rachelmcadams looks incredible and was quite literally the dream to work with but also this shoot was about 6 months post her giving birth to her son, so between shots she was expressing/pumping as still breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is the most normal thing in the world and I can’t for the life of me imagine why or how it is ever frowned upon or scared of. I don’t even think it needs explaining but just wanted to put this out there, as if it even changes one person’s perception of something so natural, so normal, so amazing then that’s great…”
Her caption ends with “Side note: I did not look anywhere near as fabulous as this when feeding/pumping. And that’s ok too.”
Like myself, many moms found the image to be powerful, commending the photographer’s decision to share a very private practice in such a positive light. But others, like Fox News meteorologist Janice Dean, were not impressed.
In response to the post, Janice shares “A lot of us mommies are texting each other about the picture of #RachelMcAdams pumping breast milk while wearing a #Versace outfit. This does not represent us. At all.”
I get it, glamorizing a very unglamourous act can rub some people the wrong way, but the image isn’t meant to represent the entire population of pumping parents. If anything, it shows that even celebrities like Rachel McAdams struggle with the challenges that come with breastfeeding as a working mom. Sure, she’s dripping in diamonds and designer brands, but as a mom who breastfed all three of my kids, I see this photo and think: she may be on set looking sleek, but at the end of the day, she’s walked in my shoes.
People need to stop feeling put off by celebrities who don’t accurately represent the greater population of parents through their social media posts.
Instagram is nothing more than a series of perfectly-curated photos - it’s not meant to reflect reality. Personally, if I had to choose between seeing an Instagram photo of McAdams crying in her car as she struggles with pumping, over this powerful photo, I’d choose the latter.
Bianca Bujan is a mom of three, writer, editor, and marketing consultant. Find her online at @bitsofbee.
