There’s nothing a parent wants more than to equally share the draining duties of parenthood. Some will grin and bear the brunt of the workload without complaint. Others will exhaust themselves in their quest for balance, but if you get to the point where a signed “baby-nup” is the only way to ensure an equal effort - I’m sorry to say you’re out of luck.
CBS New York first introduced the concept in an interview with a group of parents, exploring the ways in which they delegate duties to ensure equal parenting participation. The conversation grew from there, addressed by media across the world - many asking if you would sign a “baby-nup.”
The baby-nup is basically a next-level agreement that stems from the idea of a chore chart - where a list of the tasks to be done is created and then each person is delegated to complete their duties on their designated day. The difference is, a baby-nup takes this idea one step further.
According to The Loop, “It’s a prenup without any money. The baby contract splits up responsibilities between parents, but it’s not that serious. It’s in no way legally binding. The document is more like a flexible guide that allows parents to reshape and modify the responsibilities. The purpose of a baby-nup is so that both parents equally fulfill the role of a parent.”
The chore chart idea is definitely a plan that could help to keep things in order - that is, if both parties are fully on board.
The baby-nup, though, is taking it a step too far. It’s one thing to agree to share duties and quite another to see those promises through by relying on a contract that binds you to your child-related chores. Plus, if you’re planning on co-parenting with someone, do you really need a signed document to confirm that they’re going to be all-in?
Parenting is unpredictable. When you’re in it, it’s all hands on deck. When a baby is up in the middle of the night, I can’t imagine parents pausing to check the agreement to determine whose turn it is to take on the task of tackling a late-night feed. If anything, that would only make matters worse.
I find the pre-parenting plan of a signed baby-nup as laughable and unrealistic as writing a detailed birth plan before you bring your baby into the world (spoiler alert: you’re not really the one in charge).
As a person who loves to have everything planned out, I can understand a parent’s desire to try to take control by creating a contract, but if you think a baby contract is going to ease all of your parenting problems once your child arrives, baby, you’re dead wrong.
Bianca Bujan is a mom of three, writer, editor, and marketing consultant. Find her on Twitter @biancabujan and Instagram @bitsofbee.