Look, let me be clear – I hate people who don’t scoop up the poop from their dogs.
They are bad people who deserve to be publicly scorned and fined heavily.
But a dog poop DNA registry? That sounds ridiculous.
And yet, a company called PooPrints Canada sent a pitch to me the other day about the launch of their “Responsible Pet Parent” Program for a 291-unit building in Burnaby.
This is how it works, according to PooPrints.
The Strata Corporation bylaws are amended as follows:
(1a) All residents that have dogs, must provide a DNA sample from their dog at their cost to the Strata Corporation, for use in identifying undisposed canine excrement on common property.
(1b) Samples must be collected in the presence of the Strata building manager or appointee.
(2) Failure to provide a DNA sample will be considered a breach of the Bylaws, and liable for fines against the responsible resident.
(3) Any canine excrement identified by way of DNA sample that has not been disposed of correctly, will be subject to fine against the responsible resident.
(4) Cost of the DNA testing shall be assessed back to those Residents whose dog excrement was found on Common Property unattended.
According to the company, the DNA cheek swabbing only takes five minutes and the $60 fee is transferable if you move to another building taking part in the same program.
I’ve lived in stratas before. I live in one now. I see the kind of paranoid sniping that goes on in stratas. People turn into amateur sleuths trying to catch people breaking bylaws.
Now we’re going to have strata members collecting DNA samples and sending them off for testing.
All because somebody didn’t pick up their poop. I get how annoying that it, but you have to look at the effort-reward in taking on something like this.
Is it really worth the effort? Have we really sunk this far as a society that we can’t all just live together without turning our homes into a poopy CSI episode?
Follow Chris Campbell on Twitter @shinebox44.