Dear Editor:
Recently I got to go to Merida, Mexico with a friend. Having been told what a friendly place it was, it was wonderful to have that expectation met as we walked about and had everyone greet us in such a friendly way. Some mornings they would say "bue-nas dias" first, while often we would start the greeting, and so it would go through the day. It really was nice to feel so welcome everywhere we went.
This got me thinking of meeting a fellow from Toronto back in early 1980s who said when he first got to Vancouver he was a bit paranoid about strangers looking at each other (nodding a head, smiling or actually saying "hello"), and how it took him time to relax and enjoy the "friendly city."
Back in the '70s, when I grew up, smiling and acknowledging each other was common courtesy - just part of the social contract we have as a society (like letting older folks, disabled and those carrying little kids have your seat on the bus) it was just what we did here.
I wondered how much of our Mexico experience was that the Maya of Merida are particularly friendly, and how much was the positive "vacation-energy" we were putting out, due to the expectation of friendliness (also, perhaps one worries less about being odd when you already are different, and won't likely encounter them again?)
So I've begun a social experiment I'd like to invite your readers to join. Today while out shopping or dog walking, I decided I'd say a happily-inflectioned "good morning" or "good afternoon" to all those who made some eye-contact, and - while I got one startled "hi" at the mall - everyone returned the greeting in some form, with the majority flashing a smile with a friendly to enthusiastic "hello" back.
The results so far have reminded me that so much of our perception of others as closed off may be a self-fulfilling - prophecy, so perhaps if we want to live in a friendlier, gentler world, it is our choosing.
It felt odd, a bit hard and uncomfortable putting myself out-there by saying "good evening," but much of how we experience the world is what we create. I may have startled the young tough guy I greeted, but even he twitched a smile and said "hi" as we continued to walk past each other.
Judi Gardnner, Burnaby
